It’s so easy to feel on track when things are going well. It’s easy to feel aligned when you’re making money, clients are inquiring about your products, perhaps you’ve even met a new love interest or friend.
But how do you remain in the face of adversity? When no one is asking about your product? When you don’t know how you’re going to pay the bills? When you have a fight with your partner?
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Oh shit… Is this bad karma?”
“Maybe it was just luck…”
Being triggered is part of being a human being, it's not fun but it's not bad either. If you’re never triggered, then you either had a PERFECT upbringing oooooor you’re just checking out emotionally (been there, done that).
Sometimes the gods grace us, and lessons find us in the form of a quote in a book, or advice from a friend. Sometimes we feel a bit less lucky and we learn the lessons the hard way. But here’s the thing — as long as you learn the lesson, you win.
It doesn’t matter how you get there. If you successfully learn a lesson, you have won, and it gets to bother you either never again, or less frequently.
If you find yourself constantly triggered, what lesson are you ignoring? What belief do you have that doesn’t match the future you’d like to create? Over time I have learnt to let my triggers, especially the recurring ones, be my guides and point me to the change I can make that will create the most in my life. I have noticed that triggers pop up when we are refusing to change a belief — especially around money and our relationships.
I've created a foolproof process to beat these moment. It consists of a mental release, a physical release, a mental embodiment and a physical embodiment.
Here’s the 4 step formula I use when I get triggered.
1 -- write in a journal/paper what triggered you and how it made you feel.
Feel free to include all the other stories & experiences you have around this that come up, things may come up from your childhood or whatever. Trust it.
Let it all out, even if it makes you feel bad for saying it and even if you know it’s not true. Be as dramatic as you need -- the subconscious mind is not irrational.
2 -- a short physical routine to get it out of your body.
Take a couple of minutes to release the energy physically. This is probably the most important step.
If I’m angry, I will shake (therapeutic tremouring) or punch/scream into a pillow. You can dance. You can go for a run. If you are calm, you may like breathwork. The key here is to move energy out of your body
3 -- go back to your paper and write all the things you can be grateful for, or learn, about the situation.
Even if it’s not your predominant truth yet, it pays to be aware of the potential and helps you see it from a different perspective.
4 — do a short grounding exercise to integrate these awarenesses and beliefs.
You may like to meditate, do EFT (tapping), breathwork, say affirmations or even just talk to yourself and touch your body for a moment. It doesn’t have to be big and extravagant. It just has to connect you with yourself and this new state you wish to be in.
This is how we begin to regulate our nervous system and see triggers for what they are -- pesky lessons, that didn't come how we wanted them to.